The Greenhouse (or, why you are not broken.)


If a palm tree doesn’t thrive in Winnipeg, nobody blames the palm tree.  Obviously, it needs to be replanted in the tropics,  at which time it will become a glorious palm tree.  And if you can’t move it to the tropics…you need to build a greenhouse.

You are not broken.  You are a perfectly reasonable, perfectly wonderful, perfectly unique human being.

You need to take care of yourself like the palm tree.  Accept that you are unique and wonderful and like nobody else on this planet.  Then give yourself the exact environment you need to thrive.  Make the world comform to you and your needs and your preferences.  Not the other way around.  Do not blame yourself if you’re not able to thrive in your environment the way it is right now. Set yourself up for wild, lush, green success.

If you can’t face a 5:00 AM workout,  don’t be a hero.  Find a way to fit it in in the afternoon.  If you hate the treadmill, but playing rugby makes your heart sing, don’t be a martyr.  Go play rugby.

If you need nine hours of sleep each night, don’t apologize.   Get nine hours of shuteye.  Getting by on less doesn’t make you superior.  It just makes you cranky, tired, and ineffective.

If your friends are drug users (slugs)(negative)(mean) and you’re trying to live a clean (active)(positive)(kind) life,  get new friends instead of blaming yourself for constantly falling back int your old patterns.

If there’s something that’s been eating away at your spirit, address it with kindness and curiosity.  Get professional help if you need it.  It doesn’t mean you are crazy.

If your spirit is flat without weekly Mass, or painting class, or brunch with your grandparents, keep those things sacred.

If constantly racing to meet deadlines is raising your blood pressure, start your projects early.  And leave early to go to yoga class.

If wearing stilettos is giving you bunions, buy some adorable flats (or more comfortable stilettos!)

If you’re tired, rest.

If you’re hungry, eat.

If you’re not getting your needs met, ask.

If you’re not sure what you need just yet, experiment.

And don’t apologize for any of it, ever!

You have so much more ability to change your environment than you think.  Evolve. Change.  This isn’t about violence. This isn’t about control.  This is about creating the most wonderful, most nourishing environment for you to thrive.

The big things are tough.  It takes time to quit your job and move to a farm, or leave that not-so-perfect someone.

Not everyone can immediately transplant themselves to the tropics. But everyone can build a greenhouse.


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